Learn "The magic of not giving a F*** "
from Sarah Knight

Yesterday I had an amazing dinner with two amazing women mentors of mine and I was introduced to this TED Talk of Sarah Knight "The magic of not giving a f***". Follow the link for watching Sarah's inspiring TED talk.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwRzjFQa_Og


How many times we fall in the trap of doing things we really do not want to do just because we feel "we are supposed" to do those things? We often do not realize, though, that doing those things we do not care for is taking away our resources for doing the things we actually do care about. In other words, the more we do things we do not "give a f***" for the less resources we will have to do the things we actually do "give a f***"!

Sarah reminds us of how limited our resources are in terms of time, energy and money. Therefore, we cannot give a f*** of everything!

To find out if you are doing things you do not "give a f***" for it's easy: simply make a list of the things you do not "give a f***" for. Are you doing those things?
Do you want to get rid of doing those things? It is possible! :)

Sarah teaches about our limited "fuck budget" and how not giving a f***" can actually be done politely and honestly, with no reason to feel sorry for it.
Sarah created the "not sorry" method to help you quit  doing things you do not "give a f***" for, in 2 easy steps:

1. Make a list of things you do not "give a f***" for
2, Start not giving a f*** about those things :)

For instance, do you really want to go to that baby shower of that colleague you really do not know or like? Do you really want to go shopping with your friend, even though you HATE shopping AND there is your favorite show on TV at the same time?

Just be polite and honest with yourself and others and say "Sorry, I cannot make it", "Thank you for inviting me, but I already made plans for that day", "Sorry, I really need some me-time".  All these answers are OKAY AND LEGITIMATE and will help you becoming a healthier, happier and more honest person! :)

You do not know yet what to say to an invitation for something you KNOW you do not give a f*** about? Instead of saying "Yes!" out of sense of guilt/pressure, buy yourself sometime and say "I am not sure, let me check my plans/calendar and will get back to you!".

To actually say NO to do things you do not like will make you feel in charge of your life, empowered, and will improve your boundaries, mental health and self esteem!

Some clients tell me "I actually do not know what I do give a f*** for!". In that case, what I usually suggest is that by at least stopping doing what you do not like/give a f***  will give you more time/resources to explore what you actually like (remember? Doing things you do not give a f*** for takes time, money and energy!). Also, if you really do not know what you care about at all, start very small (e.g. what would you like -or do not like- to have for breakfast? What would you like to wear today? What would you like to watch on TV? etc). Start exploring yourself with these little things and then move forward exploring how would you like to fill the biggest chunk of your daily time (e.g. school, work etc). Reasonable and slow steps, gentle attitude towards yourself and openness to explore your likes/dislikes will provide you so much personal growth! 
Be gentle with yourself, changes are never easy and require time. If you need help making changes in your life and make more space for the things you do "give a f*** about, you might consult a mental health professional for guidance. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or a local crisis line. 

To learn more about the "Not giving a f*** method", read Sarah Knight's book "The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don't Have with People You Don't Like Doing".

To learn more about Sarah, visit her website at http://sarahknightbooks.com/ 

Exercise: Make a list of the things you do give a f*** about and the things you do not give a f*** about. How much of what you give a f*** about is in your life right now? What are the things you do "give a f*** about that you would like to see more in your life? What are the things you are doing and DO NOT give a f*** about that you can start gradually eliminating from your life? You DESERVE to do things you like and "give a f***" about!



Thank you for reading beautiful reader and... stay tuned! :)

 Trauma 101 6-week series staring on February 13th 2019 

at Winfield Consulting in Palo Alto!

Have you been struggling with trauma? Are you affected by trauma symptoms? Is anyone close to you (a friend, partner, family member) struggling with trauma symptoms? Would you like to learn how the body, the brain and nervous system are affected by trauma?

Join us at Winfield consulting in Palo Alto for our Trauma 101 6-week series!

This is a very affordable, safe and practical way to start healing the wounds of trauma. You do not have to be alone! 

For more information about the series, you may:

1. Send me an email (mariella.lauriola@gmail.com)

2.Check this video out on my YouTube channel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kDiTCkPZ64&t=4s

If you like my videos, please subscribe to my YouTube page, it is free and you just need a gmail account :)

Spread love wonderful readers and stay tuned,

Namaste

Want to boost your confidence in... 2 minutes? Try out a power pose! 

Today I was reading Lisa Danylchuk's book
"Embodied healing: using yoga to recover from trauma and extreme stress" and I got inspired by what this amazing therapist mentioned in chapter 3 (by the way, if you are a trauma survivor and are interested in yoga4trauma resources you might consider subscribing to her free newsletter here https://howwecanheal.com/).

Lisa mentions the work done by Dr. Amy Cuddy from Harward Business School and the so called "power-poses". According with Dr. Cuddy and colleagues, holding a power pose for as little as 2 minutes reduces the stress hormone cortisol and increases the levels of testosterone (hormone related to feeling powerful. Here the link to the original study http://www.people.hbs.edu/acuddy/in%20press,%20carney,%20cuddy,%20&%20yap,%20psych%20science.pdf) For example, holding "The Wonder Woman" pose (standing with your feet apart, hands on your hips, and your chin tilted upward) for 2 minutes will increase your testosterone levels and your confidence level.

Reading about this study was really inspiring because it made me realize how some activities/disciplines (e.g. dancing, yoga, self defense) actually make you practice "power poses" ALL THE TIME without you even knowing it! For instance, I recently got back into dancing and yoga and today I realized how much my sense of confidence has increased in the last 6 months, just by dancing and practicing yoga exercises on a regular basis! Dancing and yoga, in fact, make you stand up tall, long spine, open chest at ALL TIMES! Powerful power posing right there and then!

So... Are you headed to a job interview or an important meeting and need a boost of self-confidence? 

Try out a power pose (or maybe just do a warrior pose ;) ) for 2 minutes before the interview/meeting and... tell me how it went :)

Welcome to MariellaPhD blog! :)

Hi incredibly wonderful reader! :)

I am so honored to have you here in my blog!

I will be posting information in the psychotherapy, neuroscience, guided meditation and trauma field.

Also, I am going to be posting activities/practical tools you might readily use to  improve the quality of your daily life and literally "rewire" your brain, creating new and healthier behaviors and habits.

My hope is that you will be finding useful and interesting information in this blog, and I really invite you to spread these info, especially if you know someone that might benefit from these free information. Remember, connections with other people are what make us human! 

So... Connect, reach out for help and help as much as you can! :)

For now... Stay tuned and wish you a wonderful experience! :)